It is so very depressing to look back on my life and see every major life decision that I made. Because I made them all while operating under a false set of assumptions.
Every major decision I made appeared to be the right decision at the time. But now I look back and see how I have absolutely and completely blown any opportunity to lead a normal healthy life.
Even if I could somehow miraculously fix everything so that my life could be "right" from this day forward, that doesn't change the fact that multiple decades of my life are gone. History. Lost.
We only get one shot at this life and I'm not exactly off to a blazin' start. And the way things are looking, I fear the future decades will just be a repeat of the last decades. So very depressing.
The greatest tragedy would be if my children are subjected to the same life I've lived. Maybe somehow I can make a difference and break this destructive and harmful cycle. But again, history has shown that my children care very little for my opinions and ideas. But at least they'll have a choice. That's certainly more than I ever had.
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